Pokey Minch
:"With my eternal life, I will see the world through to its end. Until everyone who won't like me is gone. " ::-''Pokey Minch ''in Mother 3'.'' '''Pokey Minch (ポーキー・ミンチ Pōkī Minchi) is a character in the 1995 video game EarthBound and the 2006 video game Mother 3. He is a boy from the suburbs of Onett, Ness' portly and obnoxious next-door neighbor, and the older brother of Picky Minch. Pokey's family seems to hold a grudge against Ness', because his father, Aloysius Minch, allegedly loaned a few hundred thousand dollars to Ness' father (though Aloysius admits it could have been a lot less), and was never repaid. Although he and his father found work in Fourside as consultants for the city's mayor, the Minch's continued to feud with Ness' family. Pokey's battle music in EarthBound is titled "Cease to Exist", but is better known as "Pokey Means Business". His themes in Mother 3 are "Master Porky's Theme" and "Absolutely Safe Capsule", and are played during the initial confrontations with him and following his retreat into the Absolutely Safe Capsule, respectively. Biography At the beginning of Earthbound, Pokey lives with his parents, Aloysius and Lardna, and his younger brother Picky in the house next door to Ness's. Due to his immaturity and obnoxious behavior, Pokey has no known friends aside from Ness. Pokey refers to Ness as his best friend, though this statement is dubious as Pokey is known to be manipulative, and Ness is likely his only friend, thus his best friend by default. When a meteor shower occurs in the mountains north of their houses in Onett, Pokey and his younger brother Picky sneak out of their house to investigate. When Picky turns up missing, Pokey turns to Ness, pleading him to help him find his younger brother, clearly because he is too cowardly to go alone. After sweet-talking Ness' mother and convincing Ness to help him. ( Ness agrees to help him. At the meteorite landing site, Ness, Pokey, and Picky meet Buzz Buzz, an alien from 10 years in the future. Pokey learns of the impending destruction of the universe at the hands of Giygas, but convinces himself that he is not one of the heroes that the alien speaks of. When they are confronted by one of Giygas' cohorts, Starman Junior, Pokey cowers in fear while Ness and Picky assist Buzz Buzz in defeating the alien. After Ness escorts Pokey and Picky safely home, Pokey isn't seen again for some time. Pokey first resurfaces as a high priest of the Happy Happyist cult, led by Carpainter. Pokey kidnaps Paula with the intention of performing a human sacrifice, and presumably introduces Carpainter to the evil Mani-Mani Statue. When Ness confronts him, he orders two of the cult's followers to attack Ness. After the cult is disbanded, he and his father end up working as business consultants for Fourside mayor Geldegarde Monotoli. He uses the money to live a luxurious life, but he eventually steals Monotoli's helicopter after Monotoli is confronted by Ness. That helicopter is shown to have been crashed in the Deep Darkness, and Pokey is not seen again for a long period of time. Nevertheless Pokey still causes trouble for Ness behind the scenes: it is Pokey who steals the second Phase Distorter, Pokey finally reappears at the right hand of Giygas within the Cave of the Past, Pale and discolored from side-effects of time traveling, Pokey appears in an organic spider-like mech. At this point, Pokey reveals to Ness that it was Giygas that had been leading him all along. He expresses to Ness his new belief that Giygas should destroy the universe. He attacks Ness and his friends (in their robotic forms) alongside Giygas. Once Giygas is destroyed, Pokey uses time travel to escape into another era, but not before taunting Ness one last time. His last message comes through Picky in a suspicious hate letter that says, "Come and get me, loser! Spankety spankety spankety!" Pokey returns in Mother 3 as King P, having become trapped in the current time period and drastically aged due to his abuse of time travel (he himself admits he could be around 1,000 years old or more, but doesn't know anymore) but still mentally immature, to the extent that he sanctions unspeakable experiments on animals just to make them "look cool" and completely corrupting the Nowhere Islands out of sheer boredom. He is revealed to be the true antagonist (although not the final boss) of Mother 3 and is first seen in the tallest tower in New Pork City in which the party of Lucas, Kumatora, Duster, and Boney make their way up the floors until they discover a robot that resembles Pokey. They compete with the robot in a few mini-games before moving on to Pokey himself. On top of the tower, they find the Hall of Memories, showcasing many items from EarthBound, before ending up in a long hallway leading to Pokey. In Pokey's room they are attacked by more complete Pokey robots, which are soon destroyed by Duster's ex-bandmates of DCMC. After the townspeople of Tazmily Village enter the room with Dr. Andonuts and Flint, Pokey descends from the vines on the roof to speak to the party. He reveals that the last Needle has been found and challenges Lucas and friends to beat him to it via the express elevator. Lucas, Boney, Kumatora, Duster, and Flint slide down the elevator shaft to a mine-like environment. Pokey soon confronts them in a large spider mecha. When he sees he is to be defeated, he calls upon the "Absolutely Safe Capsule" and climbs inside. It seals Pokey inside, and being true to its name, it protects Pokey from all harm. However, Pokey finds that he cannot harm the heroes, either. When the battle ends, Dr. Andonuts reveals that he built the Absolutely Safe Capsule with the specifications that once someone is inside, the machine cannot be opened by anyone, including the person inside of it. So while Pokey is indeed "absolutely safe" he is trapped in the machine forever, doomed to spend eternity in isolation. Andonuts even feels sympathy for the tyrannical child, as in his own words, ". . . All he can do now is spend eternity inside the capsule, in absolute safety." At the end of the game, when the player is traveling in the darkness, they come into contact with an object that rolls with glee. While they may not be able to tell as to what it is, it is most likely Pokey having survived the destruction of the land. It is possible that he actually felt better after the events that took place, or perhaps, he could not hear Dr. Andonuts talking and still has the notion that he won. It is possible that he does not even know that Lucas pulled the final Needle. Personality In both games, Pokey Minch is shown to be very immature, even when his body ages beyond his own measure. He can be extremely obnoxious, and is also shown to be very selfish and egotistical. Pokey does not appear to be self-conscious about his weight, or his resemblance to a pig (as King P, the naming of virtually every facet of his empire refers to pigs, such as the Pig Mask Army, and New Pork City.) Though he is naturally mischievous, after Pokey is corrupted by Giygas, his childish sense of humor becomes increasingly malicious. He actively seeks the destruction of the universe in Earthbound, and in Mother 3 his antics nearly wipe out the Nowhere Islands, costing the lives of an untold number of the island's inhabitants, at the very least the lives of Hinawa and Claus. In Super Smash Bros. Brawl Pokey Minch has also appeared in Super Smash Bros. Brawl's adventure mode, The Subspace Emissary. Here, he is seen as a high-ranked member of the Subspace Army who attacks Lucas and Ness in The Ruined Zoo using his Pig King Statue and a fleet of Primids. Before the Statue can kill Lucas, Ness appears and destroys the Statue with PK Flash. From the exploding Statue emerges Pokey in his Mother 3 spider mech, but he is quickly defeated by Ness and Lucas in a boss battle. In this appearance he is referred to "Porky", a more proper translation of his name. It was most likely changed for this game because of his pig-themed empire in Mother 3, as well as all the signs saying "PORKY" in New Pork City. Because of this, the Mother 3 fan translation also uses "Porky" rather than "Pokey." Trivia * As with Giygas before him, Pokey's attacks in Mother 3 are stated to be inexplicable (more specifically, "What did Porky do?!") although one is described as "spraying", while another is described as "sucking" in nature. * When the game MOTHER 2 was translated into English, his name was mistranslated as "Pokey." The name stuck, but was changed to Porky in MOTHER 3's fan translation and Super Smash Bros Brawl. * The YoYo weapon that Lucas obtains is called "Friend's YoYo" meaning that Pokey may have still thought of Ness as a friend. It is apparent that he also treasures it, and possibly misses Ness, as his robotic maid only cares about that specific object. * In an unused set of sprites found in Mother 3, Porky's Bed Mecha breaks, and he rises from the mech in a capsule, perhaps in an attempt to escape, only to fall to the floor, breaking the capsule and dies, in a bloodied heap as a sad slow version of his highness' theme plays. It is also hinted that he was going to apologize for first time. * Pokey's "skills" as a temporary party member in EarthBound are as follows: ** Complains to Ness. ** Uses Ness as a shield. ** Pretends to cry. ** Smiles insincerely. ** Plays dead. ** Thinks to himself. ** Apologizes profusely. ** Tries to edge closer to the enemy. ** Acts all innocent. Obviously, Pokey has no real helpful skills. List of Quotes Earthbound *"Spankety, spankety, spankety!" *"Ness, let's be friends again. Please answer me. I promise to be good. ...uh...okay... (''walks away slowly) ''Hah! I lied! See you, sucker!" *response to Buzz Buzz "Three boys, he said? ...Uhhh...I'm not one of those three, am I?...'Cause... I'm not into this kind of thing at all..."' ' (after punishment,) "My dad really came after me... he said I don't get dessert for an entire decade..." *"Heh heh heh heh. You must really be at the end of your rope." *"In this bizarre dimension, you four are the only force fighting for justice..." *"And here you stand, ''waiting to be burned up with all the rest of the garbage of this universe..."' *"Haaaaah! That's so sad. I can't help but shed a tear." *"You know, my heart is beating incredibly fast, *"...I must be experiencing absolute terror!" *''Do you want to scream for help here in the dark?!" *''Ha ha ha ha ha!" *''"Why not call your mommy, Ness! Say, "Mommy! Daddy! I'm so frightened! I think I'm gonna wet my pants!" * "''I know you have telepathy, or something, so just try and call for help," *''"You pathetically weak heroes of so-called justice!" *"''No one will help you now!" *"Ha ha ha haah..." *(through Picky's message)'' "Come and get me, loser! Spankety, spankety, spankety!"'' Mother 3 *''"*cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* This is really no time for games anymore. I don't feel like letting you go any further.'' *''"If you're after the needle, then don't worry. My adorable monster is on its way to it as we speak."'' *''"Huh? That monster's name is Claus? Its name was Claus? That almost sounds like a person's name! But now it's my robot. Not even a fragment of life remains inside it. It's Master Porky's slave robot! It does whatever i say! It acts on my will alone. It's my double. It doesn't know anything about who you are."'' *''"Let me fill you in on something. No matter how much you attack me, I'll never die. Even if I somehow wind up beaten, I'll never die. Bet you didn't know that, did you?"'' *''"If the dragon wakes up, it might end up destroying everything and extinguishing all life. Even so, ahaha aha ahahahahahaha!!"'' *''"I've gone through time and space so many times I haven't aged like a normal person. Who knows, I might be 1000 years old, or even 10,000 years old. But despite that, I'm still the same kid at heart! Is that funny? It is, isn't it? Does it make you laugh? *cough* *wheeze* Are you laughing at me?!"'' *''"Now do you see?! Now do you understand the sadness Master Porky bears now that he's Godlike?"'' Category:Mother 3 Characters Category:Mother 3 Enemies Category:EarthBound Characters Category:Giygas Category:People from Onett Category:Pigmask Army Category:Temporary party members in EarthBound Category:Mother 3 Bosses Category:EarthBound Bosses Category:EarthBound Characters Category:Mother 3 Characters Category:Happy Happyism